The Relationship Revolution
In January 2025, I was asked to do a radio interview on the topic of waging peace and staying grounded in light of a new administration taking office. In preparing for the interview, I scanned my twenty years in activism and peacemaking for what felt most important to share. That process of deciding and distilling turned out to be the genesis of my second book: The Relationship Revolution: Weaving Wholeness in the Great Unravelling. I’m very happy to share with you that it’s now available.
The book’s basic context is crisis and opportunity. In the great dance of paradox that is life, the two simply can’t be pulled apart and there are hard truths in play. It makes sense doesn’t it that understanding the depth of our predicament is vital for informing and inspiring action and organizing commensurate with the threat? Facing the full extent of the tragedy—the violence, destruction, and suffering—can also collapse us into despair, which is why seeing the opportunities for healing and wholeness, for co-creation and solidarity, is so essential now.
The emphasis in this book is on our human-to-human relationships and building our capacities to communicate, cooperate, and co-create. The beauty of a focus on relational capacity at a basic level is that it’s something everyone can do and it’s foundational to success at the project level.
Our human relationships are also the direct path to healing the illusion of separateness and the wounds of trauma. With Active Peace I’ve always been interested in root causes and foundational remedies and this book continues that exploration.
A Few Excerpts
After 15 years as a mediator and relationship coach, I strongly believe that it is our human relationships that form the real litmus test of our ability to co-create a sane, livable future. As soon as we face our predicament as the existential threat it is, cooperation and collective action cease being vague concepts and become lived capacities essential to survival. In rising to the challenges ahead, our actual face-to-face relationships take on a whole new meaning and significance; healthy human relating becomes primary.
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The world isn’t as messed up as it is because bad people do bad things. It’s messed up because violent and oppressive systems have been created and very consciously manipulated by powerful people wounded by the illusion of separateness. The common belief that the problem is “bad people,” is more evidence that the illusion of separateness is a mainstream phenomenon. It’s urgent that we look beyond that focus to the systemic nature of our current trajectory, tell the hard truths about where it is leading, and think as creatively and constructively as possible about our responses.
“Us versus them” thinking is the problem, not the solution.
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The path of relationship is not for the faint of heart. It requires a willingness to lean in and stay present physically and emotionally, especially when the temptation to push away and disconnect is strongest. It requires opening instead of closing, choosing vulnerability over self-protection. It doesn’t mean staying in relationships that are unhealthy or unsafe. It doesn’t mean a willingness to be gaslit or abused. Prioritizing relationships means cultivating the courage and capacity to participate fully in life beyond the illusion of separateness. It’s about becoming active, living remedies for division and related fears, while nurturing our own wholeness in the process.
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The Great Unravelling and the insecurity it represents—the upending of entitlements and long-standing patterns and assumptions—means that we can’t afford to keep our relationships at timid, superficial levels. We have relational muscles to build, and, as with other forms of exercise, we will feel better, live longer, and be happier and more empowered as a result.
Seen collectively, this is the base level at which we participate in transformational change. Every step on the relational path ripples out and contributes to healing the separation and division that lie at the root of violence and insanity. This is what revolution looks like now!
Beyond Platitudes
The book goes beyond platitudes to get to the heart of what is really required to make the great transition from what is life-denying and degenerative, to that which is life-affirming and regenerative. It includes the Five Rs of Regenerative Relationships, gleaned from my background in restorative justice, mediation, and relationship coaching. It also includes other capacities including honoring and transforming grief, co-regulation process, celebrating truth and beauty, and seeing the gift in conflict. It concludes with acknowledgment of the transpersonal dimensions—the love, nonviolence, and spiritually-infused activism—that nurture the deep levels of freedom required to sustain courage and hold a regenerative mindset together.
In the context of our projects under the Mediators Foundation umbrella it’s clear that the work is relational; that achieving our goals requires collective effort. So no matter the specifics, I hope the book will benefit you personally and professionally.
Visit the Active Peace website to learn more about the book. You’ll find purchase options, part of the Introduction, the Study Guide, and information about the 8-week book group I’ll be leading starting on Sept. 30th. Please join me for that deep dive into weaving wholeness in the Great Unravelling!
Thank you, take care, and I welcome your feedback on the book.
Scott Brown,
Active Peace
https://www.mediatorsfoundation.org/current-projects/active-peace
